Blessed Margaret of Castello

Since hearing about our story, a good friend from St. Michael helped bring a relic of a potential saint to visit in our house - a relic of Blessed Margaret of Castello.

For the benefit of those who aren't as familiar with saints, they are deceased people for whom the church has enough evidence to determine they are in heaven. Under the modern process, the normal path has four stages. After a potential saint dies, the local parish and diocese begin an investigation to confirm that the person was dedicated to doing God's will. If they decide to forward the cause, the person is declared a "Servant of God" and makes a recommendation to the Pope, who starts step two. If the Pope determines that the person lived a life of heroic virtue, then the person is declared "Venerable." While there's several different ways of completing the third stage, it's completed when Pope declares the person "Blessed" - it is worthy of belief that the person is in heaven. However, the final stage to be called a saint is confirmation of miracles occurring after their death which are attributable to the Blessed's intercession.

Blessed Margaret of Castello was born more than 700 years ago near Florence, Italy (incidentally, where we started our honeymoon). She was the first born of some wealthy nobles, who were disappointed in her gender, as well as her physical deformities (she was blind, hunchbacked, and her right leg was much shorter than her left). Her parents were so ashamed of her, they told people she had died at birth, and when she was almost discovered at the age of 6, they locked her in castle prisons for a decade. Around her 17th birthday, her parents took her to a shrine in Castello, and prayed she would be healed. However, her parents did not wait long, and instead abandoned her there. The townspeople helped her how they could - the homeless taught her to beg and find doorways/empty buildings to sleep in, and the poor gave her housing as they could. Regardless, she found time to pray, visit those in prison, help sick people, and comfort the suffering. When she died in her early 30s, the entire town attended the funeral and demanded she be given a grave inside the church - a place of highest honor. A crippled girl was miraculously healed at Margaret's funeral, and so the priest agreed.

The Dominican order was active in the town of Castello during Blessed Margaret's time, and have
kept her close to their hearts. Through the Dominicans at St. Patrick's church in Columbus, her memory has found her way to the Columbus area, and through some other priests, into our home. And wouldn't you know that she only needs one more confirmed miracle to be declared as an official saint in the Church!

We've added Blessed Margaret to the audience of our prayers. We know she doesn't grant miracles, but she has a special place and ability to ask God on our behalf. While we can (and do) pray to God directly, it doesn't hurt to ask someone else like a friend to also pray for us and she has certainly become a friend to us!

We know that with a diagnosis like this, God seems to need Caroline Mary in heaven shortly after her birth. However, where there is life, there is hope.  For us, we pray that God's will is to instead heal her and keep her on earth for years to come.  How amazing would it be if  Caroline could be one of the miracles on Blessed Margaret's to sainthood! But even if isn't we are sure she will kindly intercede for us from heaven in other ways.  Blessed Margaret of Castello- pray for us!

26 Week ultrasound and more genetic results

On Monday, March 4th, we met again with our counselor, to continue discussions on telling our kids. It's hard to see the kids grow to learn about realities of life, but we are lucky to have the opportunity to do so at their pace. She also reminded us that although each of us is processing this differently, we each have unique contributions that help our family accomplish this journey.

Tuesday the 5th we again returned to St. Ann's MFM department for another ultrasound.  We consider these as our special times with our daughter, because we can see and hear her in real time. We can see Caroline move on the ultrasound at the same time Jessica feels her move, and we can hear the rhythm of her heartbeat. We even got a picture of Caroline imitating her mommy -resting her open hand on her belly!

We had a few moments to talk with  Katie the Genetic Counselor. She already had our own test results back, and confirmed that both of us are carriers for the recessive Meckel Gruber gene.  She answered a few more questions, telling us that the MG gene is not on an X or Y chromosome or age related, and that the labs confirmed two separate markers in Caroline's sample, they can identify which one came from Jessica and which one one came from Tom.

Dr. O'Shaughnessey confirmed that there's virtually no amniotic fluid left, but he did see a small bladder that had a little fluid.  We had a chance to discuss some more practical issues, like what size to plan for Caroline's burial clothes. Dr. O'Shaughnessey also offered some important comments on an autopsy. Although we already know Caroline's diagnosis we are considering an autopsy because of the potential inconclusive nature of genetic testing for some families. Dr. O'Shaughnessey commented that some families only get that from the autopsy, and that the Doctor who performs ours and notes the records here in Columbus will now have those results to compare/share locally for others. Years later, that doctor can confirm someone else's diagnosis based on the experience and knowledge of seeing Caroline. And while it's always a devastating diagnosis, we can at least empathize with the comfort that comes from some additional knowledge and understanding.

Conferences/Funeral Home and Cemetery meetings

In the days after the MRI, we took the next step with the kids - we've told them that when Caroline's parts are not growing or coming together correctly and because of this there can be some very serious problems. After they had a chance to process that information we told them that she will be very sick when she is born. They've asked some important questions as they start to understand. Following several suggestions we received from the therapist and the prenatal hospice team, we took extra care to remind them that Caroline is still very much a part of our family. Andrew blurts out her name - something that sounds more like "Cyeah-oh-wine" but is endearing all the same.  Jane and Edward include her in their regular conversations.

On back to back weekends in February, each of us had a chance to attend the Catholic Women's and Men's conference and hear some important messages about our faith. It was also an opportunity to be out among friends, but still tough to talk about our situation in person. A special moment included Jessica and Caroline being prayed over at the end of the women's conference by some amazing friends.  Most of all, it was truly humbling to hear how far and wide the prayer network has spread, and even see some of those people who are praying for us. It's hard to believe how Caroline's life and story has brought so many people together, and can cause people to do so much good for others.

Jessica's Ladies Ancient Order of Hibernians (the Irish Catholic Ladies' group) surprised Jessica with a spiritual bouquet filled with prayers of members from the division. The handmade flowers each had a message and prayer attached, and make a beautiful display in our home's entry way.

The transition from February to March happened between two of the hardest meetings in this whole process. Thursday the 28th, we had our first meeting with Schoedinger Funeral Home to plan for caring for Caroline's remains. We had a tough time talking about specifics and arrangements. Schoedinger has worked closely with Back in His Arms, the group that provides resources to parents who are suffering infant loss, and therefore has some unique experience handling these situations.

Friday March 1, we met with Resurrection Cemetery, to discuss plots and graves.  They have a section for infant graves (the Guardian Angel section) and the image of all the kids playing together helped warm our hearts. We also visited some special graves and had a few moments of prayer with them. There is also a chapel on the grounds, where they hold mass each calendar quarter to remember miscarriages and infants that are buried at the cemetery.

Since it was the first Friday of the month we finished the evening with a family adoration at church and dinner out with Jessica's parents.