Just a few short years ago, Lynn and her husband were in an astoundingly similar position. They had three children, nearly the same age as ours are now, and had never had a problem with pregnancies. Yet their fourth came with a fatal diagnosis at the 18 week anatomy scan, and the strength of their faith carried them through. As fate were to have it- Lynn was seeing the same OB as Jessica, and they delivered at the hospital where Jessica is planning to deliver Caroline. They also wrote a blog, and now have a unique ability to offer advice on how they weathered such a storm. Jessica and Lynn talked through their experience which provided a visual about how things could go. It was comforting to hear how they've handled matters after such an overwhelmingly traumatic event. All told, the discussion had an indescribable impact that will take some time to unfold, as our families interact at different points on the same journey.
In the mail another gift arrived - a rosary from Tom's cousin, Liz. We've been praying a lot of them recently, and this one is now so special to us. Liz explained that the butterflies are symbolic of the Resurrection and new life after death. The pictures don't show how colorful the beads are - a white pearlescent. You can tell much love was put into making this rosary and we will treasure it.
Jessica had another visit at Maternal Fetal Medicine on the 19th - another ultrasound, with the same reality of Caroline's conditions. It was especially sad to give Katie, our genetic counselor, one final hug goodbye right before her last day as he moves to another state. More than her ability to answer some of the toughest questions through this, she's been someone who shows a love and appreciation for Caroline and continuous support for our family.
Jessica's Uncle Chuck, the deacon who's baptized all of our children and Aunt Rose who is the most upbeat and fun person around, paid us a visit for a few days from Arizona. Her uncle is a nurse anesthetist by trade and a deacon by vocation: he had some unique insights on the situation for both of us. He's been in some tough situations and was able to share some stories about similar situations both from a medical and faith perspective. Aunt Rose also was an amazing person to talk to--she always has a great listening ear and unique perspectives. Uncle Chuck also blessed our house while he was here - with the kids involved, and Edward took a special liking to the holy water sprinkler.
We had another appointment with our counselor. Her recommendation was to slow down the process of telling the kids. Some signs indicated that the kids needed a little more time to process, and we have time - a luxury many families don't have. As a result, they know that something is wrong with Caroline. We are learning to navigate situations like when Jane asked to pray extra hard for Caroline because when her friend Audrey broke her arm, she prayed real hard and Audrey got better. Secretly, our hearts break because we wish it was that easy. However we just told Jane this is a little different than her friend's arm, but we will pray extra hard for Caroline.
Meanwhile, Andrew has developed an incredibly endearing habit. He asks to "see" Caroline, meaning he wants Jessica to lift up her shirt. Then he talks to Caroline, as if he can see her through Jessica's belly button. And when he's done, he tells Mommy to "put your tummy away" and Jessica lowers her shirt. Andrew has a particularly close relationship with Caroline: he frequently puts his hand on Jessica's belly trying to feel her kicks, and he often talks to her.
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