Week 3

Week 3 started off with some great friends (the Pillivants) on Sunday night who brought dinner and a bunch of moral support. Amidst 6 kids who couldn't watch any TV because of an internet outage, we were able to share some great kindness and support.  A few years ago, these friends suffered a devastating loss when their son died from SIDS at 2 months old, and they shared some of the challenges they faced. Regardless, it was yet another reminder of how faith and friendships can get you through just about anything, and how we are blessed with the army that God has provided along our journey.



Tuesday the 22nd was our first appointment with the therapist. We initially discussed how each of us were reacting to the situation, but turned the focus to preparing Jane, Edward and Andrew. She suggested that instead of a direct approach (which was our original plan), we use a more gradual introduction of concepts, starting with the understanding that new life is delicate and fragile - that's why the baby stays in mommy's womb. These early stages are a chance to form many parts of their body, and Caroline really needs our love and prayers. At the next stage, we'll introduce kids to the concept that not everything goes right all the time, and sometimes things can go wrong. Then, we'll introduce the concept that sometimes babies can go straight from mommy's tummy to heaven, and not spend very much time with us. Over the next few weeks, we'll gradually work our way up to the concept that something is wrong with Caroline, and she will not get to come home with us in the way we were all expecting and praying for.


Jessica had 2 more doctor's appointments this week with her regular OB and MFM.  Caroline's
kidneys grew approximately 1cm this week--which doesn't seem like much, but is significant.  Also, the amniotic fluid levels continue to decline, because of Caroline's low kidney function--the fluid is essentially a baby's "urine."  The doctors agreed that Jessica should have alternating weekly visits - her regular OB one week and MFM on the other.  This will give us a more regular schedule and will cut down on some doctor's visits.



Once again we find ourselves doing what every parent would - praying for a miracle, so that our child could live a full and wonderful life, or at least enough of a life to grow, to experience and use senses, to know love, and to understand. But we remain grounded in reality that Caroline might also have a different purpose. We might not understand that, but we'll learn in time. Already we've noticed that Caroline's life has changed our perspectives - we are more patient with our other three children and have a deeper appreciation for them, and we're refocused on some more important things in life (and not sweating some of that small stuff that comes our way). Caroline has already made us better parents, even if we can't yet give her a hug and a kiss to thank her.